Why You Might Feel “Out of Control” Around Food in the Evenings

Have you ever found yourself thinking: “I was fine all day… until dinner. Then I totally lost control.”

If so, I want you to know that you’re definitely not alone! This is something we hear from clients all the time.

While everyone’s experience with food is unique, there are often a few common threads underneath that feeling. Often times when people feel out of control with food at night (or any time, really) they're experiencing a tug-of-war between control and chaos.

It's not about willpower

Although feeling out of control with food at the end of the day can feel like a lack of willpower, it’s usually not that at all.

In fact, I’d be willing to bet you’re trying really hard by holding tightly to food rules, trying to be “good,” and/or sticking to certain limits throughout the day.

But when your body has been underfed or restricted, physically or even just mentally, it will find a way to get its needs met. That's your body being successful at being human and surviving. This can present as eating past fullness and it can feel chaotic, but at the root of it your body is trying to restore balance. I often say that even if you forgot about skipping lunch, your body certainly didn't! And it will often let you know by asking for more later.

Even subtle restrictions can backfire

Even if you think you are eating enough during the day, if you are noticing feeling out of control with food later on, it might be worth digging in more.

Here are a few questions to consider if you think you are eating enough during the day:

• Are there foods you’ve been mentally keeping off-limits?

• Are you following “rules” that might be sneaky or subtle?

• Are there times you feel hungry but push it off or ignore it entirely?

  
  

Even thinking about restricting a food (like, “I’ll be good tomorrow” or “I shouldn’t have this”) can create a rebound effect.

It's also really common to have these rules, finally give in later in the day and eat or have something you want, then feel like "Screw it... I already messed up, so I'll just keep eating XYZ food." This is just one more way that restriction and the diet mentality can keep you in the binge-restrict cycle.

The good news is that it is possible to break out of this! Beginning to shift your mindset, allowing yourself to eat those forbidden foods (ideally with the support of a dietitian and therapist), and working on meeting your needs can all help you get out of this cycle.

Why evenings can feel especially hard

Another factor that plays a role in feeling out of control later in the day is just that - the time of day.

Evenings are often when we finally get to exhale. You’re home, done with work, and trying to decompress from a long day. If you’re already underfed, tired, or emotionally drained, it makes total sense that food might become a source of comfort or a way to cope.

Food can be comforting and even distracting. We don't want to take that away. In our work together, we work with you (and hopefully your therapist) to introduce other ways to connect and take care of yourself alongside food.

Getting off the diet rollercoaster

If any of this sounds familiar, I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with you. It's really common to feel out of control with food, for so many reasons. There is hope and you can get off the food rollercoaster.

You deserve a way of eating that feels steady, supportive, and aligned with your needs-without swinging between extremes. If you'd like support with meeting your needs and giving yourself permission to eat all foods, we'd love to work with you.

You can learn more about what we do here and book a free discovery call on this page. If you're ready to get started, you can fill out our contact form to request an appointment.