I notice a rhythm each year when it comes to conversations with clients. For example, as the weather heats up in the spring folks start to bring up body image challenges around their summer wardrobe and swimsuits. In October as we get closer to Halloween the talk of holiday food starts to increase. There's lots of yummy candy at Halloween, then we get into delicious Thanksgiving food (and other seasonal fun things like pumpkin spice lattes), holiday dinners, treats in stockings, and the list goes on! There are many situations that can feel overwhelming when it comes to food during these last few months of the year, especially when you struggle with an eating disorder or disordered eating, but there can also be opportunity.
There is opportunity to try new foods or ones you haven't had in a while
As we've gotten closer to Thanksgiving, I've talked with several clients about foods they'd really like to have but they haven't had in a while or haven't had without an extra side of guilt and shame.
What could that food be for you? Think about if there are any ways to incorporate it leading up to the holidays. For example, if you're really wanting your aunt's special chocolate cake at a holiday dinner but you know your anxiety is going to be a 10/10, can you have something similar in the time leading up to it (maybe even more than once)? Practice and exposure can breed confidence and reduce anxiety over time, so that when you show up for the meal you feel more comfortable than you did on the first try with that food. If you're working with us or another provider, talk to them about what support you need for each exposure and the day of any special meals.
There is opportunity to practice taking care of yourself even when diet talk is loud
Being around lots of people who sometimes have lots of things to say about food, exercise, and body size can be another challenge that comes with the holidays. If you anticipate this being true at your gatherings, I encourage you to write down some comments or situations that could be tough and think of how you could respond to protect your energy and relationship with food. For example:
Person goes on about a diet they are trying --> Change the conversation or slip away when I can
Diet talk was loud all day and I'm feeling low --> Read a book to unwind or talk to a friend about how I'm feeling
We can't anticipate every single thing that could come up, but having a few ideas in your back pocket to deal with diet talk or take care of yourself on hard days can come in handy.
There is opportunity to engage with food in a positive, fun way
The holidays offer opportunities to have FUN with food! There are new recipes to try, new memories to create, and old traditions to continue. I love that food can be a part of that and make experiences even more memorable and special. I am personally really looking forward to making these cookies again for some family parties and decorating a gingerbread house at some point.
I'm sending you lots of cozy vibes as we go into the holiday season. The holidays can be amazing and magical but they can be hard, too, so if you are struggling with your relationship with food (or anything else) this time of year, please know you aren't alone. If we aren't already connected, we'd be happy to work with you and support you throughout the holidays and beyond! We have an office in Charlotte, North Carolina and also offer telehealth. All 3 of us specialize in supporting folks as they heal from eating disorders and disordered eating.
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